www.faith-love-trust.blogspot.com ... my journey ... your story
From the Inside Out -Hillsong
A thousand times I’ve failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I’m caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
my spiritual walk
introduced to Christ when i started school - St Anthony's Convent. we had morning prayers and hymns together with national anthem and school song.
we had mass in the chapel and for some of us it was a break away from lessons, a time to rest our eyes, a time to do nothing. for me it was a break and sometimes a short nap. :)
all i remembered was that i could ask for anything from heaven by going through Mother Mary. i believed because everytime i lose something, i'll pray and i'll find it.
it was a process that always worked. childlike faith? i guess so. there were no doubts then. i just believed. now that i think back, i didn't pray through Mary, i just asked to be
led to where my lost items were and waited for signs. sadly, there was also no deep or sincere gratitude. just a simple "thank you" after that.
this went on all through my school days. however, somewhere along the way, i forgot about the asking for assistance or directions. i made things happen on my own and depended on my own strength.
sometime after seconday school, a friend brought me a to a Christian service...CULTURE SHOCK! where were the books? where was the process? where were the instructions? there was
nothing for me to follow! i didn't know when to kneel or when to stand or what to say. however, i enjoyed the service. lost contact with my friend soon after and didn't step into
a church after that until some years later for my sister's baptism. started going on and off with my family as shortly after that, my parents and sisters got saved and baptised but not me.
...the story continues in "my journey".
Friday, February 26, 2010
was sharing with a friend why i didn't want to go to church in the past. there were many reasons but the main one was that i felt vulnerable in church. i didn't want to break down in front of strangers. i didn't want to hear the truth because it hurts. i came back and read my very first post in july 2009...and these words stood out like a sore thumb. "i did not need anyone to be with me. i just needed God to be there for me. as long as i believe, He will take care of me."
those times of "being looked after" were reassuring but it was not happy and loved. "reassuring" seems ok during those times. it was enough. because i was hurting inside, that was all i needed. little did i know, there can be more. little did i know that the Lord is capable of giving more, of giving more than what i need if i am willing to receive.
the day i surrendered myself totally was like emptying all the contents within and the joy of being filled with the Holy Spirit can never be described in words. it is something i will never forget...a reminder to always empty myself for the Lord to work in me...full surrender for Him to move me and to lead me. the more i give of myself, the more i receive for myself.
the joy of being in His presence has now surpassed the "face" issue. i look forward to going for service every week. times before and after service are meeting of friends for support and to learn from each other. once in the hall and when service starts, it is just me and my God. it is our time...my time to praise and worship and to thank Him for all that He has done for me and His time to love me and to strenghthen me with His word. it is a time for me to be taught of His ways.
the day when nothing else matters anymore, the day of full surrender ... is the day i was set free.
11:16 PM; to love You from the inside out
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
School of Theology...
since i informed hubby that i'll be out of action for 6 months, i have been bothered by his reaction ... "sell the house" ... "already not enough" ... "work part time? nonsense. will never make it". been having sleepless nights over all these comments. why is there not the same support i gave him when he resigned from work and went to the temple in thailand for 3 months?? i wasn't bitter but i was upset. i would have been bitter in the past because i would have expected my support for him to be reciprocrated. now i just feel that i'm letting him down. i started doubting myself. am i a lousy wife and a torturing mum? how can i contribute to the house of God when i can't even take care of my own house?
one night, tossing and turning and trying to sleep, i decided to pray and the words came... "Wendy, you should rest"... my mind cleared and my eyes closed and i slept well that night. yes, i will, i can rest in Him. there will be obstacles, there will be issues but i know that it will all be taken care of. the Lord knows all.
He is my saviour, my redeemer, my healer, my provider. He is everything i need Him to be.
4:40 PM; to love You from the inside out
Monday, February 22, 2010
every sunrise
is
God's gift
and
welcome
to the start of a new day
8:59 PM; to love You from the inside out
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Hebrews 12:2 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
1 John 4:12 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
i read the above, meditated on them and i know i want to fix my eyes on Jesus. i may not know the journey but i know the promise. i may not see Him but i know He lives in me and i want to be a good reflection of Him in perfect love. i am His mission.
Missions is God sending the whole church with the whole gospel to the whole world to meet the spiritual and social needs of humanity.
God sending the whole church astounds me. it overwhelms me. i close my eyes and visualise...God with His outstretched arms embracing the whole universe. i visualise Him sitting there and looking down lovingly at all His children and how it pains Him to see us sin. Jesus came knowing the suffering He has to go through, yet He obeyed and came because He knows the joy that was set before Him, to sit on the right hand of His Father. that is God's promise. He sees all. He knows all. He loves all.
i am His whole church.
what is His whole gospel for me? His word and my gifts from Him
what is His whole world for me? all whom i will meet as i am led to share my whole gospel with
i am His missionary. His promise - my garden at the end of my journey here, the beginning of eternal life, His love for me no matter what happens.
my prayer ... Dear Father, i thank you for loving me. i surrender my all to you. lead me that my words and actions will be a blessing to all around me. let me speak words of encouragement and love. teach me all that i need to know, increase my capacity to receive and to give. Dear Father, let today be a day of encounters and revelations and a day to glorify your name. let me make a difference in someone's life.....Amen
10:24 PM; to love You from the inside out
Friday, February 19, 2010
i have been wondering...lately - what is it about Christianity that is so different? what is it that makes it so real to the believers? am i gullible to just believe?
i'm going to School of Theology and objections and questions are thrown at me. what are you going to do after that? is it going to help you move up the ladder? how are you going to survive with no income for 6 months? why not just stay where you are and be comfortable?
i'm not answering all these queries. i don't want to be comfortable. i want to be useful. i want to make a difference. i'm just going to read and draw strength from His word. i want to know more of Him and to do more of what He has in store for me. Christianity is not a religion. it is a relationship. a relationship with someone who is above all else. it is difficult to understand but that's how it is. need to experience His presence to know that it's real. need to experience His provision to know that it's real. need to experience His love to know that it's real. spooky? no ... just simple, warm, comfortable and unconditional love. Christianity is a personal relationship.
i want to learn all that i need to learn to reach my destiny and grow my capacity to receive so that i can give. i can choose not to follow but i am not choosing that because He has given and He has loved. should i not do the same?
SOT may not help me to climb up the ladder professionally but it will help me climb up the ladder spiritually. i want to be the church that grows. i want to be a thoroughly trained disciple and share the joy of the love i have received. i do my part and i know He will do His.
i will not lack.
6:47 PM; to love You from the inside out
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
i used to wonder if He hears me. i used to wonder if He is with me. i used to wonder if He will be there for me....
He has showed me in little ways that the answers are all a big YES...
walking back from the coffee shop one night, i looked up and saw my block at a distance. i thought to myself - that's where i am heading. i walked some more and i don't see it anymore because other blocks of flats were blocking my view. along the way, i had to avoid some people walking in the opposite direction, i had to watch out for cars as i cross the road and i looked at the plants, the buildings and the people around me with joy. though i can't see my destination, i knew that my block is just up ahead and i knew that the next time i see it, it is going to be nearer and by God's grace, nothing will stop me from reaching there.
i reflected on that journey and matched it against my walk with Christ. there is a destiny for me. along the way, there will be hardships and things to look out for but there will also be things to love and enjoy. it will still be there even when i seem to have lost it but the next time it is revealed, it is going to be nearer and clearer. whatever happens, as long as i walk with Him in me, i will reach my destination. the journey will be a fruitful one. AMEN. Psalm 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me.
For all the wants in this world, we just need one thing - JESUS. For He is the joy, the hope and the peace. He is the way, the truth and the life.
Life is beautiful when you look upwards and outwards instead of inwards and down
Do God's work with no doubt, only faith
Let go of all your burdens and go through the eye of the needle
Colossians 1:27 - "the hope of God being seen in our world is found in you and me..and this is the way God created it.And the hope of God's love being heard is found in the words we speak"
if you remove this, i'll come after you!muahaha want!ng xxxxxx
